99 Jokes for Kids Hilarious Enough to Share With Friends

Kids love to share laughs with their friends, and what better way to do that than with a collection of hilarious jokes? Imagine the joy and giggles when they whip out a funny pun or clever one-liner during lunch or break time. These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood and sparking friendship. Ready to discover some absolute gems that kids can’t wait to share? Let’s plunge into the world of laughter!
Best Puns & Jokes
Kids love a good laugh, especially when it comes to puns and witty jokes. Here’s a collection of some of the best for their amusement.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
- Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
- Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on it!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
- How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a shoe made of a banana? Slippers!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they always use honeycombs!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- Why did the duck go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a quackin’ good time!
- What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
- What did the tree say to the math book? “You’ve got too many problems!”
- Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!
- What’s big and gray and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
Funny One-Liners & Wordplay
Jokes can bring a smile to anyone’s face, especially when they’re filled with clever wordplay and quick wit. Here are some funny one-liners that are sure to tickle kids’ funny bones!
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger; then it hit me.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Parallel lines have so much in common; it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me cookies.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!
- What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
- I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia; she whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
The tornado took my job as a gardener; I’m still reeling from the winds of change.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough bread.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I told my dog to play dead, and he’s been lying about it ever since.
- I wanted to be a librarian, but I couldn’t find the right shelf control.
- Why is the ocean always blue? Because it’s a little salty!
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh; sadly, no pun in ten did.
- Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of information!
- My socks left me a note saying they were tired of getting paired with the wrong shoes.
- If a seagull flies over the ocean, what flies over the bay? A bagel!
- Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- The tomato turned red because it saw the salad dressing!
- I can’t trust stairs; they’re always up to something.
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed!
- What do you call a dinosaur that’s sleeping? A dino-snore!
- I’m friends with all the electricians; we’ve good current connections.
- When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When it’s apparent!
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it!
- The pencil couldn’t find its way; it lost too many points!
- Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
Top Witty Puns
Puns can brighten up even the cloudiest days with a touch of humor. Here’s a collection of witty puns to tickle your funny bone!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- The librarian didn’t get any paper cuts because she knew how to avoid “tear”ing.
- I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
- I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
- When the math book finally got help, it said it had too many problems.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down!
- My friend broke up with her math equations; she found them too complex to deal with.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me “byte” sized snacks!
- The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
- I used to be a tree surgeon but got stumped by too many “root” challenges.
- I wanted to learn to play the piano, but I thought it would be too “key” taxing.
- The cell phone just couldn’t find the right connection; it lost its “signal” of interest.
- If the fruits ever had a party, it would definitely be “pear”-fectly fun!
- The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
- When the clock got hungry, it went back for seconds!
- I told my shoes about my plans to travel; they said it would really “sole”-ify them!
- The tomato turned red because it saw the salad dressing!
- I used to be a fisherman, but I couldn’t “tackle” the reeling in.
- The computer caught a virus and couldn’t find the anti-“dote.”
- The calendar’s days were numbered, but it still felt like a “date” every day.
- I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist!
- The donut felt guilty for having so many sprinkles on the side; it wished it could glaze over it.
- I gave up on my job at the orange juice factory because I couldn’t concentrate.
- The snowman called for a “chill” session, but it ended up being a meltdown!
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger; then it hit me.
- I wanted to be a photographer but didn’t know what to focus on.
- The coffee beans knew how to espresso themselves in the morning.
- The banker finally got a promotion because he knew how to “invest” in relationships.
- The shoe factory went bankrupt; they just couldn’t make a “cents.”
- The pizza couldn’t make up its mind; it was too “cheesy”!
- I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.
- The bee couldn’t find its way home; it forgot to take “buzz” routes.
- The cookie couldn’t take any more jokes because it was crumbling under pressure!
- The magician’s hat couldn’t keep its secrets anymore; it had too many “tricks” up its sleeve.
- The chair wanted to fit in at the party, but it felt like it was being “sat” upon.
- The fish swam away from the dating pool because it couldn’t find the right “catch.”
- I couldn’t believe the news about the butcher; it was “meat”-iculously detailed.
Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram
Looking to add some laughter to your Instagram feed? Here’s a collection of puns and jokes that are perfect for kids and guaranteed to tickle some funny bones!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
- Why was the music teacher so good at fishing? Because he’d the perfect bass!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- How did the barber win the race? He knew all the shortcuts!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s the sea they love!
- Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he was a fungi!
- How do cows stay up to date on current events? They read the moos-paper!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she was going to high school!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!”
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
- Why did the stadium get hot? Because all the fans left!
- What did the elephant say to the naked man? “How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”
- What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forest1!
- Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
Conclusion
So, there you have it! With these 99 jokes in your pocket, you’re all set to be the life of the party or the star of any playdate. Whether you’re sharing a pun or cracking a funny one-liner, you’ll be spreading giggles and making memories with friends. Don’t be shy—let your inner comedian shine! Now, go ahead, share a laugh, and keep the fun going. Who knows, you might even inspire someone else to tell a joke!