Friend Puns

99 Jokes for Friends That Will Keep You Laughing All Day

Table Of Contents

Ever noticed how a good laugh can turn a dull day into a memorable one? With “99 Jokes for Friends That Will Keep You Laughing All Day,” you’ve got the perfect arsenal for some well-timed chuckles. Whether it’s puns that make you groan or one-liners that catch you off guard, these jokes can brighten any gathering. Want to elevate your group chat or social media posts? Keep scrolling to discover some gems that’ll have everyone in stitches.

Best Puns & Jokes

Here’s a collection of puns and jokes that you can share with your friends for a good laugh.

I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh, but sadly, no pun in ten did.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, making everyone else feel stuffed with jealousy.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down, unlike my friendship with gravity, which is always falling apart.
Parallel lines have so much in common; it’s a shame they’ll never meet – it’s a real case of friendship lost at a distance.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago; now I know what real friendship is – it always comes back to me!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing alone without its friend!
If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness, or just part of their retail friend circle?
I told my friend about my plans to write a joke about sodium, but I knew he wouldn’t find it funny – he just doesn’t appreciate high salt humor.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day – a friendship that’s a real workout!
My friend has a job at a calendar factory; he makes every day a joke, especially the days that get numbered!
I wanted to be a professional juggler, but my friends said my jokes were way too easy to drop.
My friend fixed my broken pizza by the way; he said it was just a little cheesy!
I asked my friend why he keeps telling dad jokes, and he said it’s because he knows they’re the only ones that really rise to the occasion.
I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist and now my friend won’t let me hear the end of it.
My friend found out I was scared of elevators, so he took steps to avoid them together – now we’re both on a higher level of friendship.
I didn’t want to believe my friend when he said he could make it rain; turns out he was just pulling my leg up the ladder of expectations.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi who knew how to make friends grow!
When the computer took a break at lunch, it really had some byte-sized fun with its offline buddies.
I asked my friend if he wanted to play hide and seek, but he said he couldn’t be found – he’s great at making disappearances a part of every joke.
My friend said he doesn’t like elevators, but now he’s up to new heights in our friendship on multiple levels!
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space, but his friends said he was over the moon about it!
I asked my friend why he didn’t bring his guitar to the picnic, and he said he didn’t want to string us along without a solid note to start.
My friend thinks he’s so punny; he leaves us all in stitches, but I think we’re just tying our jokes together in one thread.
I wanted to be friends with my computer, but it just said it couldn’t process that connection.
Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love, but the connection was never strong enough for a reception – just like some of our puns!
My friend’s bakery burned down; now he’s got a recipe for disaster and a flaky friendship with the smoke alarms.
I told my buddy to be careful at the gym; the weights can be heavy, but conversation lightweights are always welcome!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every good friend knows it’s all part of the theatrical performance!
I told my friend I wanted to become a baker, but he warned me that it felt too kneady with regard to effort – no dough without some labor!
I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek team, but it turns out good friends are harder to find than great hiding spots!
My friend started a band called “1023MB” – they haven’t gotten a gig yet since the friends are still trying to download their sense of rhythm.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint, and now his friends can’t stop sweet-talking him!
My friend said he couldn’t help me fix my broken keyboard; all he could offer was one typo at a time!
My friend thinks he’s an expert on puns; I told him his jokes are a bit of a stretch, but they usually keep us hanging in suspense!
I asked my friend why he always carries a pencil; he said it’s for the great ‘write’ moments in our friendship!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged right in front of its best friend!
My friend said he once tried to catch some fog; now he’s a believer in the art of mist-timed jokes!

Funny One-Liners & Wordplay

Here’s a collection of humorous one-liners and wordplay to share with your friends – laughter guaranteed!

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me notifications about “downloads.”
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough to rise to the occasion.
The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself; it was two-tired from the ride.
The mathematician’s plants stopped growing; they couldn’t find their square roots.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
I fell in love with a gardener, but she said I just didn’t have the thyme.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I wanted to be a photographer but realized I didn’t have the right focus.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!
The library is always hiring great individuals, but they don’t want anything overdue.
I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
The scarecrow won an award for being outstanding in his field; he really raised the bar!
The clock factory broke up; it just felt like time was ticking away.
I once had a job as a professional cricket player, but I found it hard to bat for long hours!
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia, and she whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
When I wanted to become a locksmith, I realized I didn’t have the right key skills.
I told my therapist about my fears of elevators. She said to take steps to avoid them.
I once dated a girl who was addicted to brake fluid, but she said she could stop anytime.
My friend asked why I don’t work out; I told him I’m in shape – round is a shape, right?
I broke my pencil, but I was fine; it was pointless anyway.
I told my socks they were extraordinary, but they just couldn’t get a grip on reality.
I didn’t know what to wear for my presentation, so I just decided to wing it without a shirt.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my dreams just didn’t have enough lift.
I asked the baker to make me a cake; he just loafed around instead.
I started a band called “1023MB,” but we never got a gig.
I tried to make a pun about an egg, but it kind of cracked me up instead.
I went to a seafood disco last week but only pulled a mussel.
I didn’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something sneaky.
I wanted to be a specialist in fruit, but I couldn’t find my niche in the orange grove.
I told my friend I didn’t like his haircut, but he just didn’t have the right part.
The chef was so good, he could make a fresh start just from leftovers.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it eventually.
My friend lost his job at the bakery because he couldn’t make enough bread.
I named my cat “Muffin,” but it’s a real whisker-lickin’ adventure!
I used to be a fisherman, but I couldn’t tackle the catch of the day.
The chef took a break because he couldn’t find his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I recently decided to quit drinking orange juice; it just wasn’t zesty enough anymore!

Top Witty Puns

Here’s a collection of witty puns that will tickle your funny bone and leave your friends laughing.

Get ready for some clever wordplay and unexpected twists!

I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high; she looked surprised!
When the baker got fired, it was the knead-to-know news of the day.
I used to be a doctor, but now I’m a historian; I guess you could say I lost my patients.
I can’t trust stairs; they’re always up to something.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of the same old puns!
I wanted to learn how to juggle, but I just couldn’t keep all my balls in the air.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands – it’s much more efficient!
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia; she whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything, including bad jokes!
I told my friend I was afraid of elevators; she said I should take steps to avoid them.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I’ve a fear of speed bumps; I’m slowly getting over it.
I’ve just found a new way to combine farming and music; it’s called crop rock!
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
I broke my last smartphone; now it’s more of a dumbphone—can’t even fetch!
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner; it was just collecting dust.
The mathematician’s plants started growing exponentially; they’ve really taken root!
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats; it’s a well-founded belief!
I told a joke about a roof, but it went over everyone’s heads.
I used to be a snake charmer, but I couldn’t find a hiss-terious audience anymore.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
I wanted to become a marine biologist, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it!
The computer lost its job; it had too many bytes but no real processing power.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet; but that’s just nuts!
I told my friend that I’m a minimalist; now I’ve just a single friend.
I wanted to become a fashion designer, but I realized I’d no sense for styles.
I told my friend I was catching a cold; she suggested I try catching some more suitable hobbies.
I recommended her to plant flowers; she said she couldn’t handle the pressure!
I told my mom about my new job cleaning mirrors; she said I’m just reflecting on my choices.
I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I can’t seem to get it built up!
The grape was getting all fuzzy; it fell off the vine and turned into wine!
The scarecrow didn’t win the award; he was just outstanding in his field.
The librarian took her job very seriously; she couldn’t stand any book pun-ishment!

Best Jokes & Puns for Instagram

Get ready to elevate your Instagram game with these witty jokes and puns that are perfect for sharing with friends. Each one is designed to bring a smile or a chuckle to your followers.

I told my friend to stop impersonating a flamingo—he had to put his foot down.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even their Instagram captions.
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh—but sadly, no pun in ten did.
My friend asked if I wanted to hear a joke about sodium—I said, “Na.”
I wanted to post a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
I told my friend I’m on a seafood diet; I see food, and I post it.
My buddy said he couldn’t figure out how to make a martini—it’s just a stirred one, he just needed a little encouragement.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married— the wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was great!
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke—now I just wing it on Instagram.
My friend told me I should embrace my mistakes—I hugged my last post for too long.
I wanted to write a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many tabs open on Instagram!
If I’d a dollar for every time I made a spelling mistake in a caption, I wouldn’t be so caption-less.
My friend said she’d never trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
I started a band called “1023MB”—but we haven’t got a gig yet.
Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it, they don’t even post pictures!
I wanted to learn how to juggle, but I can’t seem to keep my life in balance, let alone my posts.
My friend’s Instagram is just pictures of her plants; she calls it “gram vine.”
They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye before I hit “buy” on the new filter.
I told my friend I wanted to be a baker, but he said it’s not worth the dough—so I yeast the thought.
Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on building my follower count.
I tried to catch some fog for my Instagram shot, but I mist.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down during a scrolling session!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of selfies.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough—now I just loaf around on Instagram.
I asked my friend if he wanted to follow me to a meme convention; he said he’d rather scroll in silence.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired from all the likes it got!
I wondered why the music stopped; it turned out the Instagram algorithm hit pause.
My friend keeps leaving his plants on Instagram; I told him to stop putting pressure on them—they’re not influencers!
I asked my friend if he was free tonight; he said, “Only on Instagram Live.”
I told my friend I was a photographer before social media; now I’m just a selfie stick operator.
I wanted to share a selfie but realized I hadn’t done my hair—I guess it was a hair-raising experience!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged… and it was too bitter to post about it.
I told my friend to stop drinking red bull; I didn’t want to see him take off in his next post!
On Instagram, I prefer to give treats instead of tricks; I just don’t want my followers to ghost me.
I’d tell you a joke about Wi-Fi, but I’m afraid you’ll lose connection with it.
My friend said he couldn’t figure out how to take a good selfie; I told him to just strike a pose and hope for the best!
I tried to get a ride from my friend, but he said his car was an influencer and didn’t want to be seen with me.
I asked my friend if he wanted to go dress shopping; he said he was already in a committed relationship with his closet.
I once got into a fight with a broken camera; it kept flashing during our argument, and it broke my focus.

Conclusion

So there you have it—99 jokes to keep the giggles flowing with your friends! Whether you’re sharing a pun over coffee or cracking a clever one-liner in a group chat, these laughs are bound to brighten your day. Don’t just be the friend who sends memes; be the one who spreads joy with a punchline. So go ahead, release these quirky quips and let the laughter strengthen your bond. After all, a chuckle shared is a friendship doubled!